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ADVENTURE GAMES
 The
Pharaoh's Tomb
Run around the pyramid collecting stuff. Very reminiscent of all those
old 8 bit computer games on the Commodore & Spectrum from the
80's. We liked it a lot. 380k.
 Hitchhiker's
Guide To The Galaxy
Text Adventure game version of Douglas Adam's great Radio series/TV
series/book/soon to be film. But no saves. Aaagh! Very hard. External
link.
POLITICS
& SATIRE
 George
Bush Shootout
Terrorists have attacked the White House. Only George
can save us. What we really liked though is you get to shoot the crap
out of the Oval Office. Good fun. 1.0mb.
 Dancing Hilary
Clinton
Oh but we never realized cellulite could be so sexy.
Hillary Clinton strips off and what a lap dancer she would have made.
It sends shivers down my spine. 540k.
RETRO GAMES
 Manic
Miner
The old Sinclair Spectrum
classic. Guide miner Willy through twenty levels of mayhem. Watch out
for the pesky penguins in the cold room. External link.
 Galactic
Warrior
Otherwise known as the
arcade standby Galaxians from the 1980s. Only you can save the galaxy
etc. 152k.
 Battle
Pong
No, not as we first
thought, a really unpleasant battlefield simulation with the smell of
rotting corpses, but a modern recreation of the old favorite Pong.
134k.
 Space
Invaders
Instructions
- Turn your monitor horizontal, balance a glass of beer on the edge, and
pretend it's the 1980s. 24k
 Pacman
If people's behavior was influenced by
videogames, then all who grew up playing Pacman would now be running
around in darkened rooms, waving their arms and eating magic pills. Hmmm.
59k
 Tetris
It's blocks. They're falling. What more could
you want? As addictive as it ever was.474k.
 Lunar
Command
Shoot out the missiles before they destroy your moon bases. Another good arcade
conversion. I spent a fortune on this in the 80s. 157k.
 Jet
set Willy
The
sequel to Manic Miner. Miner Willy has struck it rich and lives in a
mansion. He wants to go to bed, but his housekeeper Maria won't
let him until he clears up the mess. External link.
SEXY
SPORTS
 Topless
Beach Volleyball
Here's one for the boy chimps - the girls will
play topless, but only if you're good enough. There's probably a password
on Google somewhere. 376k. Oh go on then!
 Topless
Beach Tennis
Another one for the alpha males. Get three points ahead and the girls get their
tops off. All to the gentle sound of the waves lapping on the beach like a
soft palm on a maiden's thigh. 514k.
SHOOT
'EM UP
 Alien Clones
Shoot all the little robot bugs before they shoot your
little robot bug. It's that simple. But so addictive. I sprained my mouse
finger playing this one. Owwwww!. 292k.
 Stress
Relief Paintball
Stress getting to you at work?
Shoot up our virtual office instead of your real
one. Great stress buster. 206k.
 Trapshoot
Or take it out on dumb virtual animals and
consumer products. Shoot
chickens & beer cans with Billy Bob and the boys. Yeehah. 435k.
STRATEGY
 Magic
Balls
Have you got magic balls? I know I have, and you can have them too. 112k.
 GyroBall
Guide the spinning ball up and down the ramps without falling off the
edge. Reasonably hard to do, and addictive too. 100k.
 Cyber
Mice Party
Arrange matchsticks and coins on the floor and stop the cute little cyber
mice from stumbling into the mousetraps. My cigarette went out and my
coffee went cold. 388k.
 Sheep
Game
Fulfill all your bucolic fantasies by rounding up a herd of sheep
against the clock. It's baaaad maaaan. 47k.
 CrashDown
Tetris like simplicity, but with the more-ishness of frustration just
slightly beyond your reach. Another great coffee cooler. 245k.
 Penguin
Push
Penguins have such short legs, their dangling parts must get very cold.
Help the poor little penguin push the blocks of ice around the screen and
score points. 171k.
TOYWARE
 Fartmatic
Still laughing at fart jokes at your age? Me
too. Adjust the settings to change the quality of your farts. Make sure
your volume is turned up loud, and delight and surprise your office
colleagues with the quality and duration of your farting. 81k.
 Acne
Squeezer.
How can you tell when a teenager has been in the
bathroom? Yellow spots on the mirror. The virtual equivalent of adolescent
angst - squeeze your spots from the comfort of your own chair. Disgusting,
but hilarious. 165k,
 Homer
Simpson Soundboard
Pretend you are Homer Simpson
on the phone to your friends. Or just have fun. Doh. External Link
TRADITIONAL
 Creme
Saver Pinball
Pinball players have the
hardest balls of all, so they say - and I can well believe it.. Play a
great re-creation of arcade pinball. External Link
.
 Rally
Trophy
Scalextric slot racer fun. Set out your track on the virtual carpet
and race Mini Cooper v. Volvo P1800. Velocity with Veracity. Check out
the lift off oversteer on the Mini. External link.
 Chimp
Chess
Play online chess against the ShirtBloke office chimpanzees. Please
play. The chimps aren't very good, and they need the practice. Javascript
rather than Flash. 50k
Solitaire
You play it on your own, and you play it one
handed. Hmmm - that reminds me of something. 191k.
 Simon
Says
Yes, it's that damn frustrating beeping thing
that's impossible to leave alone. One for obsessive compulsives only. 15k.
Simon
Swears
As above but the adult version.
External link.
 Mini
Putt
They say that golfers have the smallest balls of
any sportsmen. It could well be true. A re-creation of all those crazy
golf games you played at the seaside. 77k.
 The copyright of all
the games and animations belongs to their respective creators and
copyright holders.Copyright of all other materials belongs to shirtbloke.com. Except for the game reviews.They are copyright of the chimpanzees.Provided we get the glory, we'll work for peanuts. And
bananas.
Games reviewed by
Chichi - the chimp on the couch.
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